Hardest of Hearts
by SparklingEnchantress
Summary: This is just a TWO-shot written based off the end of season 5 and deals with Rufus and Lily's fallout. It's written in first person from Lily's point of view, I think that's all..want to know more? Click, and read it to find out.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; **Hello loves, so this is a little one shot that has been plaguing my thoughts since forever. It would not leave me alone until I wrote it out so here it is. It's a Rufly one shot based off the end of season 5 also it is written in first person from Lily's point of view. I really wanted to get this up before the GG premiere on Monday since I know that none of this will probably happen or anything but it's what I had envisioned could've happened or what I wished would happen. If you've read any of my other stuff you know how lame I am, review make my life..hint hint(: Happy reading! xoxo

"Even the hardest of hearts can crack sometimes…"

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It had been three months since I decide to annual my marriage to Rufus. The decision was not made out of spite, and it was not made lightly. Sitting in this apartment without him, hurts. Every bone in my body aches, feels heavy when I move even the slightest. Rufus's things are gone and it leaves the apartment feeling eerily empty. Shaking my head I chaste myself he didn't want to make it work, he wasn't willing to compromise. It's when I see _that _faded flannel laying crumbled at my side of the bed that gets me. He left it and I didn't have the strength to give it back, to see him. I nearly sprint from the room and make my way down the stairs. After making a drink it's in this solitary moment as I gaze at the fire and sip my gin the uncanny resemblance to my mother smacks me in the face. A conversation Rufus and I had nearly five years ago comes unbidden back into my head.

"_I never wanted to be like my mother. I always wanted to be open to life and fearless." _

Even then I revealed cracks of myself that reflected my mother but still I was living my own life. Well, for the most part there was the whole cancer thing that she helped with but other than that, I was in control. My fingers curl around the cool crystal glass easily lifting it to my lips and taking a large gulp. There was a brief period when I blamed Rufus for not wanting to have anything to do with what I'd become, who I became but right now I find that I can't blame him. Frankly, I wouldn't even want to be with me. This is not who I want to be with him. This is not who I want to be never has been, and Rufus knew that helped me grow, change. However, after my mother's death I effectively chalked up all personal growth and threw it out the window. My heart constricts as his words from six years ago resound loudly in my head.

"_I never should've let you, let me go." _I felt all the air leave my lungs as the phone clicked off. Shaking the thoughts on our failed past and why it ultimately ended is too painful to re-live. It was solely my fault for our falling out, when I left it wasn't without a heavy broken heart. But I just wasn't ready and Cece had a solution. Damn that woman had a solution for everything.

So, I choose Bart over Rufus…and not for the first time. God what is wrong with me? Did I not learn from the first time around, when I married Bart? Clearly not, but Bart has really been trying to put in more of an effort in this time but it's just, he's not Rufus. Plain and simple. I miss the hint of stubble as it brushed against my flesh as he worshiped my body with kisses. _Oh,_ his kisses I crave the passion, the love behind every single one. I miss Rufus.

"_I always tried to do the right thing" _

_"That's all you can do. Just smile and fake it"_

Honestly at the time I thought Bart was the right choice even back then I thought it was the most reasonable choice. The less risky choice, the one society would approve of. Back then I put my daughter's happiness before my own I married Bart even though I was still very much in-love with Rufus. This time around Rufus and I were in possibly our worst state, so I chose Bart and maybe it was partly because I felt guilty. Now sitting alone in this big ol' apartment it just seems so empty. Yes, Bart's things have replaced Rufus's. Gone are the countless flannels, and in come the suits. The Welcome Back Kotter mugs, all those vinyl records, his guitars, and the waffle iron, gone it's all gone. I had never been to keen on some of those items, I might have even teased Rufus about them, but they were his…they made him, Rufus, the love of my life.

My stomach grumbles, I really shouldn't be drinking like this on and an empty stomach. Oh, well who would care anyway? Bart is barely ever around and when he is, I find myself suffocated by his stiff personality. Lately I can't even bring myself to eat much that way the liquor will work quicker, and also because I got so spoiled having Rufus around. He really is one helluva cook.

Swallowing the remainder of my glass of gin I shrug further into my sweater, sinking back against the couch cushions. The sharp buzz of my blackberry springs me from my trance. Snatching it up I read Bart's text; "Working late, Sorry Sweetheart!" I can't help the frown that falls over my lips..Rufus never would've passed me up for work. But that was one of the many differences between them, closing out of the text message my fingers skillfully scroll through my contact list. Bart, Blair, Charles, Daniel, Bitch, Tool, Eleanor, Eric, Cartier, Asshole, Botox Junkie, Jenny, Attorney, and there's his name. Rufus.

For some reason staring at his name highlighted on my phone makes me hold my breath. A sharp pain sears through the rest of my body. My fingers tremble against my blackberry keyboard I can't call him, what would I even say? The soft click of the disk changer rotating nearly breaks me as 'Rosewood' begins to fill the living room. That dreadful Thanksgiving with Alison, flooding back to me. I still can't believe that Alison honestly thought Rosewood was written about her, please. Of course that song had been written about me, most of Lincoln Hawk's songs were inspired by things and places Rufus and I explored together.

His voice fills the room and my heart constricts. My fingers click text message; a blank message screen glares up at me, what do I say? No, what I want, what I need to say should be said out loud directly to him. A text message would be far too impersonal. Right? He probably wouldn't even answer even if I did call, why would he? I effectively broke his heart, and not for the first time.

Pushing myself off the couch I pocket my blackberry and stagger over to the kitchen. I need another drink. More straight gin? Sure why not, I shrug silently watching as the liquor tumbles effortlessly into my small glass. I push a hand through my wavy blonde hair, Rufus loved my hair like this. With the crushing reminder stabbing my heart, I lift the glass and tilt it back. After swallowing my brief pull I let out a gentle breath, leaning against the counter for support. Slowly I lift my glass to my lips swallowing down more straight gin. Once I quickly finish off my drink I gaze absentmindedly at the empty glass. My eyes narrow, my hand snatching the phone off it's cradle and my fingers begin to punch in the familiar number. The ring echoes back at me and when someone finally picks up on the other end I sigh and explain that I need a car to take me to Brooklyn. It must be the gin pumping in my veins that's making me like this. Nostalgic. Weak.

The ride in the plush limo seems to stretch forever, and while I sit there twisting my bracelet around my wrist I pause and reach for a glass. I make another drink more so to cease my fidgeting than anything else. My mind is a jumbled mess, I know I shouldn't be doing this I'm technically married to Bart, but my heart is still Rufus's. So, I guess that's my answer right there. I take a gulp of gin and nibble on my thumb nail absentmindedly what if Rufus won't even talk to me. Another gulp, and I reach to refill my glass why is this drive taking so long? I silently wonder before my mind drifts back to Rufus. I haven't seen him since that day, I gave him the papers since then it's been sent back and fourth. He never fought me for the money, but that was no surprise it was never about the money for him. I lick my lips and glance out the window we're almost there, letting out a gentle sigh I down the rest of my glass and place it into the cup holder. Eventually the car slows and I can feel my body temperature rise, the driver parks and scurries over to open my door. On shaky legs I step out of the limo and barely acknowledge the driver and exhale before heading towards the building.

Suddenly as I face the all too familiar loft door I feel all the air leave my lungs, and the blood drains from my face. _What the hell am I doing here? Right, I miss Rufus. _That's what brought me to his doorstep, that and the gin. My heart seems to have climbed to my throat effectively choking me. I attempt to take a deep breath, my fingers smoothing down my wavy blonde hair before I curl my nimble fingers into a fist lifting it to the door. Letting out a shaky breath my hand hangs midair not making contact with the loft door quite yet. Sure, I still have my key, just like I still have his flannel, but using my key would be crossing a line. Shaking my head I bite down hard on my lower lip and my knuckles crack against the loft door.

There's a clatter from the other side of the door and a muffled _damnit_. It makes me smile for some reason it must just be the sound of his voice. As the loft door creaks open I exhale loudly releasing a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding in. My red rimmed eyes scan over his appearance squinting to see if anything was out of order, assessing that nothing had changed about him. The light from the loft spills into the dimly lit hallway illuminating my facial features. No words pass between us, we're both just staring, taking in the sight of one another after three months. As the silence hangs between us I can't handle his intense gaze and the confusion etched into his facial features so I break my eyes from his. I drop my head and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Lily…what are you doing here?" He says and I can tell from his tone of voice he sounds exasperated, defeated even.

I shift my weight between my feet daring to peak up at him through my long lashes. "Rufus…" it comes out small, whiny, weak which are things I never wanted to resort to. "Please," I find myself begging taking a tentative step forward, standing in front of him I feel as if all my walls crash down. The façade deflates, leaving in the remains the woman I am. That same bright eyed twenty year old groupie he fell in love with. The girl he wrote Rosewood, Everytime and many more about. I hope that he can still look beneath all the exterior all the fake smiles and still find me, the me I want to be for him, for us.

"Lily…its over, you made your choice. We're done."

"I made a mistake." it just slipped out the alcohol coursing through my body making everything I want to say seemingly leave me tongue without a second thought.

"It's too late." That was all he breathed out before gently shutting the door on me. I think I would've been alright if he slammed the door in my face, it's the calmness he exudes that breaks me. Tears spring to my eyes and I slap a hand over my gaping mouth to conceal my sharp in take of air. My legs give out beneath my weight and I slowly slump to the hallway floor. It's dirty, but that the last thing on my mind. I want Rufus back. How can I make him see I just got lost for a little while? That I still want to be Mrs. Humphrey, that I still mean my vows. He is truly the only one whose ever fully loved me and cherished me. Over the last eight months life has taken it's toll on our relationship. From my mother's death, finding out Charlie is really Ivy, Ivy receiving my mother's inheritances, being banished to Brooklyn, lying to Rufus, making things work, selling the apartment, Rufus paying Ivy's way, family dinner-Rufus won't come, Charlie is really Serena and Eric's half sister, yes William had an affair with Carol while I was still married to him, conspiring with Ivy to get Carol arrested, Rufus want to come to dinner-I lie tell him dinner's canceled, Family dinner, Accusing Carol and getting her arrested, Rufus knows, Saying horrible things to Rufus, Bart-alive, Rufus calling, seeing Bart, Bart signing divorce papers, papers Rufus had drawn up, a lot of thinking, a week later- choosing Bart.

My eyes scrunch together and I bite down on my lip to avoid from breaking down. It doesn't work though. The tears fall from my eyes, I have always prided myself on having a tough exterior keeping things tightly locked away showing society that no matter what they couldn't break me. But this whole thing with Rufus is my undoing, he has always been the only one who could look beneath the façade and find me, the real me. Now that I've lost that one person I feel incomplete, like a robot sleepwalking through this life. Rufus makes me feel alive, makes life worth while, his smile, his scent, his waffles, his flannels, Lincoln Hawk, all of the things that make him, quirks that I used to maybe feel indifferent about I want back. There is nothing I want more than to wake up tangled up in his arms and suffocated by his scent. My sobs subside and I rub my palms against my jeans attempting to calm myself down. Crying will not change my circumstances, so I take a deep breath and try to clear my mind.

All the alcohol flowing through my blood stream makes it difficult, to think straight but I put all my focus on it. I sniffle and wipe some remaining tears from my cheeks and stare in front of myself at the brick wall. My head feels heavy from the combination of the alcohol and the crying, I momentarily wonder if Rufus heard my unraveling from the other side of the loft door. Part of me thinks if he had he would've opened the door, however the logical part of me is screaming that I damaged our relationship too far. Leaning my head back against the loft door I lick my lips and fiddle with my bracelet thinking of Rufus and everything I need to say to him. The hallway is dark and it's comforting for my current state, a shiver trails it's way down my spine as I sit there. Slowly I begin to doze off my mind occupied with thoughts of Rufus and I, happier times.

It was only a few hours later when a streak of light sprawls across my face and causes me to stir on the floor. I stretch slightly and shiver my vision is fuzzy and it takes me a moment to register my surroundings. Once I finally realize where I am, I sigh maybe it would be best to just leave. Pretend last night was all just a bad dream, pretend that it never happened. No, I came this far. With a cracked heart I know who makes me the happiest and that I have hurt him, and not just once. I have a lot of mending to do but I am more than willing to do anything for Rufus, he is the love of my life.

I twist the bracelet round and round the circumference of my wrist, it clicks every so often and the corner of my lips twitch. My limbs ache from spending the night on the cold floor. Suddenly I'm broken out of my trance as the loft door whirls open to reveal a well rested but sad Rufus. Releasing my bracelet I rub my palms on my legs preparing myself to stand up. Rufus glances over me confusion taking over his face. "Lily…what?"

"I slept on the floor," I say answering his unanswered question shrugging my shoulders. "I stayed up most of the night…trying to figure out what to say to you, to make you understand."

"There's nothing to say Lily."

"Rufus, please don't interrupt. I love you, always have…always will. My life doesn't make sense without you. I am not the woman I want to be without you, I lost myself for a little while. I am so sorry, for everything, but Rufus I really want to try and make us work."

"Too much has happened Lil,"

"Rufus, I'm not saying it's going to be easy, we're opposites, things have never been easy for us. But I really want to try and fix us, re-build, start fresh." I say with a slight shrug glancing over him nervously wondering what his reaction might be.

"And how do you think we are going to do that?" He asks with a raised eyebrow while leaning against the loft door.

"Maybe starting with breakfast," I find myself suggesting as I eye Rufus expectantly.

He tosses his head side to side seeming to physically weigh out the options and possibilities this breakfast could have in store for us. Rufus shrugs and his brow furrows together he is going to have a rough time letting me back in, that much is clear. "Okay. Did you want to go home and change?"

_Oh, _he still knows me so well, I can't help but grin and shake my head. "No, unless you're saying I need to."

"_You were always surprising me," _

Rufus laughs and shakes his head at me, oh that laugh is music to my ears. It felt like I hadn't heard him laugh for a century. Stepping back he allows me to enter the loft and lifts his arms up in mock surrender. "Not at all, I've seen you worse." There's my Rufus making jabs to our days on the road together. Those days were always some of my happiest, we were so young and in-love. I never fell out of love with Rufus if I was being honest with myself. My marriage record is proof of that. We eye each other and the room becomes thick. I swallow the lump in my throat and take a seat at the counter as Rufus stands on the opposite side silently shuffling things around. "Waffles?"

"Yes, waffles sound perfect!" I say softly as I peak up at him, as he begins to pull out the proper ingredients and warm the waffle iron. "Can I help?"

To my suggestion or rather my plea to help him Rufus snorts laughing gently before finally glancing up at me. "I do believe the last time you attempted to help you nearly burned the entire kitchen down."

"Oh no…that was not all my fault. If I remember correctly you were distracting me, and you were quite distracted yourself." I retort with a slight smirk, that day coming back to me as if it was just yesterday even though it was happened nearly twenty-five years ago.

"Still," he said giving me a look that makes me laugh.

"Fine." Folding my arms over my chest I lean back in my chair, a smile taking over my features. Surely this does not mean we are back to "us" but it sure felt good. Better than I had felt in months, I find myself willing to do everything in my power to salvage things with Rufus. He is the only man by far who knows all of me, even the darkest parts and still he loved me through and through. There is still so much that needs to be said, so much that we still have to make up for, but right now listening to him whisk the waffle batter is enough. I'm content to just sit here and watch him. God how could I have ever think Bart could make me happy?

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**A/N: **Well there you have it...I don't know how I feel about it, but like I said previously this was something that I had been thinking about for a while now so I finally finished writing it out. I hope there are some of you out there that will enjoy this little piece. As always thank you for taking the time to read, reviews are greatly appreciated! Mauhh, much love(:

**P.S.** to those of you who are loyal readers of **"Lucky"** it will be updated later today, if not early tomorrow. I just have a few scenes to finish and tweak, scenes that I can only hope y'all will love so...stay tuned beauties(;

xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: SUPRISEEEEEEEEEE! **Hello beauties, I know that I said this was a one-shot but with all that's been going on or lack there of Rufly action on GG well I was inspired by a conversation I had with fellow writer **huddysmyvicodin**. She is fantastic and you should check out her story "Clean Slate" and if you haven't leave a review when you head out(: Anyways after this said conversation the thought struck me for the second part after 6.04 when we got a glimpse of the letter that Lily wrote Rufus after their night of passion before she married Bart, the first time. Having said that there will be some hints of actual storyline but more of a shrewd version. My version. This is a continuation of the first part., it picks up almost exactly after where the first shot left off. Also, this shot is rated M, for sexually explicit material, you have all been warned.(;

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The only sound echoing throughout the entire loft is the whisk Rufus is skillfully rotating around the bowl. My mind drifts as I focus on the sound, my eyes transfixed by his smooth movements I desperately want to say something but I'm not sure what. Once he is satisfied with the mixture he steals a glance at me offering a tight lipped half smile which a year ago would've broken my heart. Now, quite frankly I'd settle for that half smile and being this close to him once again. I can feel his eyes sweep over my profile which causes me to tilt my head down my eyes focusing on the counter top as my fingers knot together in my lap. Rufus pours some of the batter into the waffle iron and then moves to retrieve a glass and I watch as crystal clear water tumbles effortless into a glass. He extends the glass of water towards me , slowly my brown eyes shift up from the counter and lock with his. A shy smile tugs up the corner of my lips. "Thank you," is my whispered response to which Rufus merely nods his head and turns back towards the waffle iron.

"Did you need some Advil?" He ponders out loud not even bothering to meet my eyes as he starts to pull out plates and silverware.

For some reason his question catches me off guard, but I realize he has always known me better than anyone. None of my former husbands ever could compare, Rufus knows me through and through. "No, thank you…I'm okay." Strangely enough I'm not hung-over a little achy from spending the night on the floor but other than that I'm fine. And I blame Rufus entirely for my lifted spirits.

He nods his head solemnly and the waffle iron beeps at him signally that the first batch is done. As he pulls apart the waffle iron the smell wafts throughout the loft causing my stomach to grumble in response. I can't believe I've gone close to four months without tasting his cooking, without inhaling his scent. A soft sigh emits through my lips and breaks his concentration causing him to glance up at me his eyes assessing me. With a lifted eyebrow I divert my eyes from his and take a gulp of water. The awkwardness is glaringly obvious hard to push aside, hard to pretend that it's not there but we're both doing our best to act as if things haven't changed.

Rufus takes out the first batch of waffles and sets them in a container before covering them with a glass lid. He goes about pouring more batter into the waffle iron as my eyes watch him, slowly I move to get up, desperate to help in someway. As soon as I edge closer to the fridge Rufus and I collide with one another. "Oh, sorry…I just thought, I don't know…that I could help." Stumbles out from the tip of my tongue as I shake my head unsure on his reaction.

"You don't have to."

"I want to," I say stressing _want_ to ensure that he knows that I truly do want to help, that I'm going a little crazy sitting there and stewing in self reflection.

"Okay. Do you want to make some coffee?" Rufus asks turning back to his waffle iron as he briefly looks up at me.

"Sure." My head nods while I glide around the breakfast bar while I begin to take out the coffee filter and the coffee grounds. Slowly my fingertips work diligently with the coffee marker as I start to make us a pot of coffee.

The only sound filtering throughout the kitchen is the gurgle of the coffee marker as it begins to brew our pot of coffee. Brown irises assess the glass pot as coffee slowly drips into the small pot while we're both basking in the silence that's hanging throughout the kitchen. The silence only giving me more time for self reflection and I find that I hate it completely, I'd rather be snug in Rufus's arms and swaddled by his scent. But in all reality I brought this upon myself and so I can't blame him for being so cold to me, so distant. However, he's willing to try, willing to talk to me and at least give me the time of day which is more than I ever could've asked for.

At the end of the day I deserve what is dished out to me, I put him in this position. The position where he can't decide how to act around me, where he doesn't know how to act. It's like a swift stab to the heart knowing that he doesn't trust me, that is probably the one thing that hurts the very most, and that he would rather let me squabble around in my stewing. He'd rather let me think the absolute worst, let me think that there's no real chance for us to make a mends. But the way his eyes connect with mine shining with that hint of sadness that I've come to know far too well I realize that we do have a chance. If he didn't believe that we could fix things he wouldn't have let me in this morning. That's what I keep telling myself anyways, it's that small ounce of hope that is keeping my eyes open.

Again my stomach grumbles and this time it causes Rufus to cock his eyebrow at me, offering me one of his signature grins. _Boy_, I miss that grin of his. I laugh and shake my head shrugging my shoulders as the coffee finishes brewing and I remove the pot pouring coffee into two mugs for us. Replacing the pot and my fingers out of habit go to work preparing Rufus's coffee just the way he likes it. Once I finish fussing with each of our coffee's I place his in front of him and smile as my eyes catch sight of Rufus making up our plates arranging my waffles exactly the way I like it. He sprinkles a few cut strawberries over my two waffles, each of us naturally falling into old habits.

Old habits are hard to break but his simple actions with preparing my waffles perfectly causes my heart to flutter. The strawberries are my favorite part of the ensemble, who know making waffles could be such an art form. Rufus knew, it's one of the things I love about him. He sets the plate in front of my spot before he places his own plate in the empty spot next to me. Moving to retrieve his black mug of coffee he I watch him as he lifts it to his lips and takes a sip a satisfied sigh escaping his lips. "You remembered," Rufus states simply as he walks over to the stool stationed next to mine.

"Of course, how could I forget! I see you remembered the strawberries." My voice replies while my eyes shift over the waffles laid on the counter in front of my stool. He nods his head and eyes me curiously as I pull out two glasses setting them on the counter and then walking to the refrigerator. Pulling open the refrigerator door my brown eyes sweep over the contents smiling as the settle on the pitcher of orange juice. Removing it from the cold fridge I pour some into both glasses and then place it on the counter, I hand Rufus one of the glasses and then take my own and take my place at his side.

"I could never forget anything about you Lil," he says softly once I settle onto my stool. His green eyes steal a quick glance over my facial features and I glance over at him briefly. Those simple words melt my heart, he is quickly reminding me of all the wonderful memories we have together. Over the last 3 years alone we have shared countless breakfasts together, and many years prior to that. This breakfast is different from any we've ever shared though, not particularly all that different. Back in the day we had several breakfasts where we would start of furious with one another, over something usually very trivial. But that's what happens when two people so dissimilar fall in love, there tends to be a lot of little sometimes even petty fights. However, this last fight of ours was the final straw that broke us apart and that was because I lost sight of all his wonderful charming qualities and viewed him as the enemy. Rufus went behind my back to help Ivy when he was very aware of my feelings about that harlot.

We both dive into our food not speaking another word to one another. Silence hangs in their air thick almost suffocating but I shove down a forkful of waffles as my stomach reminds me of the lack of food its been receiving lately. Skillfully attempting to ignore the awkwardness I'm feeling, that I'm sure Rufus is feeling as well. We haven't been this close for nearly 4 months. I cut into my waffles taking several bites before reaching for my orange juice and take small sips. The tangy citrus flavor is cold and refreshing against my tongue and I relish in it. My eyes peak over at Rufus who is absentmindedly bouncing his fork between his index finger and thumb before he stabs a piece of waffle. Quickly I shift my eyes back to my own plate so I don't get caught staring at him.

The silence is becoming far too much, I can't take it anymore. We're both wounded seething with emotions, conflicts we never fully drudged up, issues we never discussed before I served him with papers. "Rufus look, I know it's going to take more than these waffles to fix us…so if there's something you want to talk about you should just say it…" I trail off moving my eyes to the cut up waffles in front of me pushing them around my plate with a fork.

"What do you want from me?"

In this moment I realize the depth of hurt that my actions have inflicted on him. My mind is racing, trying to formulate what I want from him. "Um," this really isn't a difficult question so I don't know why I can't answer him right off the bat. Since in all honestly, the answer is simple, I want him, "you." I whisper admiring the contours of his face as he absorbs my words.

"If that was true, why did you give up on us so easily?" Comes his short clipped tone making me cringe slightly.

_Oh. _My head bows and I become far more interested in knotting my fingers together in my lap. "I don't know what, why-" I stumble over my words trying to string together a suitable explanation for my actions. His eyes are on me and I can feel them anxiously burning into my skin in anticipation to what my next words will be. "I guess, I was scared."

"Scared of what?" he pries desperately trying to make sense of our falling out.

It hurts to bring back those memories because I know that my reasoning behind ending our marriage is faulty at best. Unexplainable, and not entirely justified however if I really want this, which I do…with my whole heart then this needs to be said. My shoulders shrug as I peak up at him behind long lashes, "scared that you were going to leave me. And I couldn't handle that, so I did what I do best, I left you before you could leave me." After, that small detail was revealed I dipped my head breaking eye contact with Rufus as I fiddle with my fingers. "I know it doesn't make it right."

"You should've trusted me enough to know that I'd put everything into making things work before calling it quits."

"I know, I know." Is my omission as I shake my head from side to side cursing my insecurity because it was the root of our entire fallout. But he took Ivy's side over mine, and I truthfully thought that he didn't want to make things work but at the end of the day it came back to my actions. This small confrontation is a price I'm willing to pay, the beginning of mending us. After this little tiff we both eye each other and go back to eating our respective plates. However, suddenly I find myself without an appetite. My slender fingers wrap around my fork and I push my waffles around in the small amount of syrup that covers my plate.

I glance over at Rufus and he seems to be completely unaffected by our most recent confrontation and that leaves me feeling hollow. How can he be so put together? It just makes me feel as if I mean absolutely nothing to him, which hurts more than any words could. Cradling my face in my palms I shake my head trying to rid any bad thoughts from my mind, my appetite is completely gone and I sigh softly dropping my fork to the plate and pushing it away from myself.

Once we finish off our breakfast Rufus moves around the breakfast nook a silence engulfing the room and cutting through my flesh. He collects our plates and my eyes follow him as he shuffles the plates into the sink and then moves to pick up the rest of the mess from cooking breakfast. I want to reach out and help him but the closeness is foreign to both of us. "Make yourself at home," he offers in a hushed but clipped tone.

"Mhm" barely slips from my lips as I steal a glance up at him. We both stay on opposite sides of the kitchen quickly I divert my eyes from his silhouette swinging my legs around the stool and stepping away from the counter. My eyes take in the loft, he still hasn't unpacked a lot of the boxes which stabs at my heart.

I hadn't even been the one to pack up his things, I delegated that task to Larissa who did her best to conceal her frown, but I saw it. All of the help loved Rufus, for good reason. My eyes scan over the cardboard boxes our life together surrounding us boxing us in, caging us here. The guilt is overwhelming but its when I spot _that_ box with it's lid carelessly tipped off and resting on the side of it. Stepping forward I can't help myself as I inch closer to his desk where the box lays open. My brown eyes take in the contents I have to blink back tears as all the memories floor me at once. Carefully my fingers dip into the box and extract the stark white stationary paper that has my writing cluttering the page. A few tears spill from my eyes gracefully rolling down my cheeks as I shake my head in awe that this was the only box he's gone through.

"_May 17__th__, 2008_

_Dear Rufus,_

_Last night was the best night of my life. For years, I've hoped to find the passion that I feel when I'm with you. I thought it was our youth that accounted for that depth of feeling, our unbelievably powerful bond. But I don't believe that anymore, it's not just our youth that accounts for the powerful bond that we have. There's something else some intangible force, feeling that accounts for our powerful bond.. I love you Rufus, always have and I always will. I could never regret what transpired between us last night or the twenty years prior. This is not the moment to hash out the details of what we are to each other, or what we could be. It's too late. Right now its our children's chance to be the couple we can't be. I just can't put my own happiness above Serena's. Do this tour you deserve it, I do truly wish we could just run away and figure us out but we can't. That simply wouldn't be fair to our children.. Maybe one day it will finally be our time, until then take care of yourself Rufus. _

_Love Always, _

_Lily" _

"Lil?" His voice cuts through the silent loft causing me to spin around and face him clutching the letter between my hands.

"I can't believe you kept this." my voice comes out small as my eyes study my cursive words before glancing up at him.

"Well, I wasn't ready to throw it away. You meant the world to me," Rufus says bashfully when our eyes connect he realizes his word choice and suddenly back pedals. "Mean. You mean the world to me, always will."

_What?_ Just like he's opening up to me warming up a little maybe? Hell I don't want it to stop, god what did I ever do to deserve him. Moving closer to him I glance over the letter, "you know I meant every word of this." Our bodies are close and it's a crime not to reach out, not to touch him but neither of us is ready to cross that line.

"I know," his breath spills against me I gulp involuntary, I know _that_ voice it's raw and husky, absolutely disarming.

Naturally our faces, drift towards one another, inching closer and closer my breath leaving me with the narrowing gap between us. My eyes dart between his irises and his lips. _Oh, those lips…_how I've missed them. Before I know it, _those_ lips crash against mine closing the gap between us and taking all my willpower with them. The kiss is intense all consuming and completely overwhelming my head feels light and I haven't even been drinking.

As his lips leave mine, in their wake the cool air spills against them and I yearn for the warmth of his lips. The letter drops carelessly to the floor and my hands gild up his toned chest, our eyes lock and I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding in. Both hands slid up to his face my palms cup his cheeks and both thumbs slowly stroke the stubble along his jaw line bringing his lips back to mine. When our lips meet this time the kiss is deep and slow, when his hands grip onto my hips I loop my arms around his neck. As he steps forward his hips brush against mine creating a delicious friction and stirring feelings within me that I haven't felt for months. It amazes me every time that just the slight touch in combination to his kiss can make me feel this way. Weak. Powerless. Light headed.

"Rufus! Wait," my palms gently push against his chest breaking our lips apart in the process. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it, it was the opposite actually. There is something I have to say, something I need him to know before we get too caught up in the passion. We always do seem to manage to not talk about things when it comes to our relationship. It's just that we have so much passion for one another, that it makes it hard to stop once we start. And it seems that, that hasn't seemed to change, even after all these years. There's like this constant need that we have for one another. A need that we have both buried at particular times for specific reasons but times like this, we can't resist our willpower falters and we lose ourselves in the passion.

He pulls back and confusion shots across his facial features as his green eyes probe mine. I take a deep breath our bodies are so close and I'm aroused beyond belief just thinking of what will happen next. My fingers reach out and stroke his stubble, _oh_ how I've missed him. "You know…that was the best night of my life up until that point." Pausing I allow my words to sink in before softly continuing, "the best night of my life actually came a year and a half after that, it was the night I became your wife." I whisper my eyes taking in his reaction, his facial features soften almost immediately and I swoon. Naturally my head tips towards his, our noses brush and I breath out something I've been holding in for too long. "I still want to be Mrs. Humphrey…if you'll have me."

My eyes flicker up to meet his and my lower lip curls into my mouth, his eyes are crazy intense and make me squirm under his gaze. The silence hangs between us but it's not awkward or uncomfortable like it was earlier, its electric, charged. There's a new spark behind his eyes as they slide smoothly over my facially features settling on my lips. _God, _I've forgotten how hot these moments with him can be. All he's doing is looking at me and my knees feel weak as if they could buckle beneath my weight. My cheeks flush under his gaze as they shift up and down my slender frame I swear he's mentally undressing me with his eyes, it causes a warmth to flood my core.

He steps forward invading my space his right hand cupping my cheek as our eyes assess one another before he covers my lips with his own. I can feel his kiss in the tips of my fingers and my stomach erupts with butterflies surprising the hell out of me. After all this time it shocks me that he can effect me so much with just a kiss.

We become all lips as his tongue glides out poking the corner of my lips urging me to grant him access. How could I ever resist when he probes my lips apart that way? It just makes me think of all his other unbelievable skills when it comes to using his tongue. My right hand reaches forward and cups his left cheek bringing his face even closer to mine not willing his lips to leave mine just yet. Our tongues dance together and we barely break for a breather getting caught up rather quickly, this was always how things went back when we first fell in love. We'd get in a huge fight over some small petty thing and we'd both be seething. Rufus would say something that he knew would piss me off and I would shove him away from myself when he tried to get close and then when our eyes met that was it. I was done for, we were done for. That was exactly what happened now, he captured my tongue between his teeth and bit down on it in a playful manner causing us to break apart briefly giggles escaping my lips in the process. He smothered my giggles with a few short pecks, "I'll take that as a yes?" I mumble between kisses, a smile gliding across my lips my eyelids fluttering open to gaze into his eyes.

"mhm" comes out of his lips while his hands loop around my hips and he brings my body flush against his brushing his lips back to their rightful place on mine. With a firm hold on me he steps forward invading my space and causing me to back pedal. He is effectively moving us away from the middle of the loft and towards the kitchen. Just before my back can connect with the sharp edge of the breakfast bar Rufus's arm stops it. My lips form a smile against his as I cup his cheeks and my tongue slips past his lips. Sparking up a duel for control as his thumbs hook into my jeans and he tugs me closer to his body. The contact makes me shudder against him, as our tongues twist and turn together getting reacquainted with our natural rhythm. Soon enough I gladly relent out battle allowing him to win. In celebration to this small victory he scoops me up. My hands slid from his face and clasp around his neck holding myself in place against him as he places me down on top of the breakfast nook.

Rufus pushes my legs apart with his body placing himself as close as physically possibly can be between my legs. Our lips break apart and my hands shift around his neck while I gaze at him, I can feel our connection in my bones. He knows every part of me, so I can only imagine how much he is going to drive me nuts. Painfully slowly his hands move to the top of my jeans his fingertips tease my warm flesh he slowly trails his hands from the top of my jeans to the top of my thighs. Rufus traces the inseam of my jeans on my left leg while his other hand grips onto my right thigh giving it a sensual squeeze. His nose is in my hair, his lips attach to my earlobe as he sucks on it gently his hands slips further down my leg before slowly making their way back up to my center.

As his lips leave my ear the dip down and begin a series of sweet soft pecks along my neck. He's being very soft with everyone of his actions and it's making me fall for him all over again. My fingertips get lost in his mop of brown hair. Rufus is working his magic on my body and even though he's barely touched me, I am so aroused and I want him more than anything. His fingers work their way down my long legs and he takes my left foot in his hands. As he does this my hands fall from his hair and grip onto the edge of the counter desperate not to fall off.

His hands work deftly at pushing the straps of my black Christian Louboutin slingback peep toe off the back of my heels. Once my feet are free of the luxuriously heels I wiggle my toes in his palms my eyes watching him as he massages my instep before gliding his thumbs up to the balls of my feet. The brief foot massage is heavenly but then I become all consumed in his wandering hands as he drops my feet he works his fingers upward and they begin their tantalizing torture. His fingertips tease me through the denim of my jeans making me squirm beneath his touch. This is hot, I want him right now. _Oh,_ his fingertips slowly glide up the front of my jeans lingering over my sex as he quickly undoes the button of my jeans tugging the zipper down in the process.

I gasp when the light pressure from my jeans is relieved his steps to that his hips are at the counter and his thumbs hook into my belt loops. He yanks on my belt loops causing them to break free from their place on my hips and pulls them slowly from my long legs. Rufus tosses my unwanted jeans off to the side, I think they land somewhere over by his desk but I'm not quite sure because our eyes lock and I just can't tear my eyes from his. A shy smile captures my lips and he offers one of his smug smiles his eyes taking me in, clad in lacy black panties and comfy baggy grey sweater on his breakfast nook. His eyes flare with lust and it causes a heat to shoot through my entire body awakening feelings and sensations that have been neglected for several months now.

Not wasting another second he moves to me, his lips claiming mine his right thumb make soothing circles on my left hipbone bringing me towards the very edge of the counter. Letting out a gentle breath I grab onto his shoulders my left hand sliding up his neck as my fingers tease the small hairs at the nap of his neck. His left thumb glides along my jaw line on the right side of my face as our lips mesh together swapping saliva.

My fingers easily slid up getting lost between his dark brown strands. Nimble fingers grasp fistfuls of his hair tugging his face closer to my own. Rufus kisses me deeply smirking against my lips when I won't let his lips leave mine. His right hand that has been resting on my hip holding me in place skirts across my torso. The tips of his fingers are feather light across the top of my panties causing me to sigh softly in response to his touch. It feels just like fire and ice all at the same time, his fingertips dip along the front of my panties. Rufus rubs the flimsy fabric right against my most intimate part, getting a feel for the lacy material.

A part of me he knows better than anyone else I've ever been with. The knowledge and skills he holds make me gasp into our kiss in delighted surprise. My fingers pull on his hair disconnecting our lips my chest heaving as he starts to stoke my folds through the black lacy fabric of my panties. _God,_ I want his fingers on me, in me. Now. "Rufus," escapes my lips as he continues his slow longitude strokes.

Instead of relenting on his teasing Rufus pushes my panties from side to side before switching up his stroke to a circular motion. The combination of his fingers and the fabric rotating against me is such a delicious friction. I can feel myself getting wetter with each stroke of his fingertips. "Mmm" he breaths out against my neck as his lips move along the crook of my neck. Rufus pulls down on my grey sweater with his teeth while his lips in turn trail across my collarbone distracting me momentarily as his index and middle finger sink into me.

"Ahh," I moan his fingers stilling in me while I adjust, and become lost in the sensation as his fingers begin to move within me. The pads of his fingers stroke my walls as his long fingers thrust in and out of me my body reacting accordingly and bowing into him. My leg hitches around his waist urging him on and welcoming him to continue with his skillful strokes. Lifting myself off the counter for a moment I get as close to him as I can. My hips grind against his my lips latching onto his neck as his long fingers move in and out of me slowly, his thumb flickering against my clit stimulating my inner goddess. Those fingers of his trace my insides causing all rational thought that I have left within me to vanish completely.

He is relentless and my breathing quickens my head tipping back my lips leaving his skin as my eyelids flutter. Suddenly his fingers leave me and my eyes shoot open confusion etching across me face, my eyebrows scrunching together. My head tips forward as my eyelids flicker back open, I gaze directly into his eyes and they are just so hot. They're smoldering green irises that have a mixture of passion and lust behind them. Passion and lust that is all for me and I find that simple fact beyond flattering as surrender my body to him. A smirk falls across his lips as he takes in my frustrated expression and hooks his fingers in either side of my panties. I lift my ass off the counter in order to him remove the undergarment, he inches my panties down my legs and drops them to the floor.

Gently his left hand squeezes the top of my thigh he pushes my legs apart, using his right hand to help ease me to lay back onto the counter. I oblige laying back against the counter wiggling beneath his palms as his lips lazily trail kisses from hipbone to hipbone. He pokes his tongue out as his lips glide over my panty line _oh god_, Rufus plants a kiss to the top of my sex inching lower yet and embracing my lower lips. "Oh," comes out in a breathy moan as my hand searches for something to grasp onto and coming up short.

When his lips make contact with my lower lips I bit down hard on my lower lip, but then his tongue worms out of his mouth and he flickers it against my clit. My heart rate begins to beat rapidly, thudding consistently and echoing in my ears its deafening really. Lost in the pleasure I arch my back off the counter top, my legs naturally bend at the knee attempting to close but being stopped by Rufus. He hooks my left leg over his shoulder and his tongue slips between my folds teasing me dipping inside of me before retracting his tongue completely. "Rufus, god…right there," I moan his hand gripping onto my thigh and holding me down with his opposite hand.

Rufus thrusts his tongue in and out of me quickly his fingernails lightly sinking into my flesh as he continues to rile me up. He swirls his tongue around inside of me in a circular motion around and around, and around torturing me. Just when I don't think I can take anymore he stills his tongue for a moment before slowly thrusting it deep inside of me, hitting my undoing. The tip of his tongue hits my g-spot a few times before he pulls back and strokes my walls with his tongue exploring my depths. My chest is heaving up and down and I can feel myself nearing my peak, shouldn't I be pleasing him making up for all the hurt and pain I've inflicted upon him recently? Shaking the thoughts from my head his tongue starts again with his circular motions and my knee squeezes around his shoulder my hips rising to meet his tongue.

Shortly after, my body takes over and I unravel at the mercy of his tongue moaning out loudly. My legs stiffen and I involuntary squeeze them together as my walls clamp down around his tongue while I convulse around him reaching my orgasm. Rufus laps up my juices this whole encounter on top of the breakfast island was hot, unexpected, and not to mention intense. I lay there panting tilting my head to the side attempting to catch my breath. He licks his lips and gently removes my leg from over his shoulder as he gazes down at me.

Through half lidded eyes I smile up at him lazily, he towers over me and I can't bring myself to move just yet. Rufus reaches forward and takes my hand weaving his fingers between the spaces of mine as he lifts me to a sitting position on the counter. My blonde hair is wavy and all tussled around falling haphazardly over my shoulders, his appreciative gaze causes my cheeks to flush. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze using his opposite hand to cup my cheek as he brings my face closer to his. Our lips meet in the middle in a tender embrace his tongue slips between my lips and he flickers it against mine. I taste the tang of me that still lingers on his tongue and smirk against his lips, his hands release me and he trails them skillfully to the hem of my sweater.

My own hands move to the hem of his shirt but before I can make my move his fingertips curl around my sweater and he inches it up my slim tummy causing me to lift my arms up to help him. Moments later he pulls my sweater from over my head and drops it to the floor gazing down at me who is clad in my black lacy bra. His eyes lower as he takes me in, in all my naked glory I reach forward grabbing a fistful of his flannel shirt bringing him against the island by me. Releasing his flannel from my grasp my slender fingers work diligently at undoing the buttons of his flannel. Once his shirt is billowing open my eyes hungrily shift over his exposed and toned chest licking my lips as I push the unwanted article of clothing of his shoulders. It flutters to the floor pooling at his feet while we watch each other. My index finger tracing the lines of his abs down to his happy trail my eyes becoming consumed in my own movements.

As I reach the top of his jeans a smirk slides across my lips, my index finger gliding back and fourth over the top of his denim. Without preamble my hand snatches his belt as I quickly undo the buckle bringing his body to meet mine. Rufus lets out a gentle laugh as uses his teeth to undo the front clasp of my bra. My bra hangs open exposing my perky breasts as I let out a gentle breath. Skillfully I unbutton his jeans and pull down the zipper of his pants my hands sliding in the back of his jeans as I push the material off his hips. The moment his jeans make it over his hips they begin their descent down his legs his erection springing free in the process. My fingers hook into the waistband of his boxers snapping the elastic against him and giggling like a school girl as his eyes lower as he growls softly.

Leaning off the counter I grasp him through his boxers, rubbing him through the material of it for a little while before shoving his boxers down to his ankles. Once his boxers are at his feet my eyes take him in again in all his naked glory, _god_ he makes me want him all over again. Rufus moves forward and his hands push the straps of my bra off my shoulders, I watch his hands ease my bra off my body and bit down on my lower lip softly as it lands on the counter behind me. Without giving him any warning I reach for him, my slender fingers of my right hand wrapping around his erection and moving up at down. Using my left hand I fondle his balls while my right hand continues it's vigorous strokes moving up and down.

While my hands are preoccupied with his manhood Rufus smoothly begins to knead my breasts, using his lips to help distract me. It works a few times as my hand stills against him before slowly starting up again. His breathing shifts as he grunts his lips leaving my skin momentarily as he lets out a loud satisfied sigh. Rufus squeezes my nipple between his teeth causing my grip on him to loosen before he kisses his way back up to my lips. As our lips meet we become nothing but tongues that dance playfully with one another while hands wander. Fingertips run over the top of my thighs heating the flesh in their wake as he dipped them along my sex.

"Oh," I breath out lost in his touch, lost in sensation. My hand catches his wrist and guides him to my hot core smirking as I slid forward on the counter hooking my leg around his waist willing him closer to myself. Us becoming one seems to be an action that is taking centuries to complete but his lips slam against mine and nearly all the air leaves my lungs. He glides his fingers into me swirling them around in a circular motion driving me crazy, getting me ready for him. The palms of my hands rest against his shoulders keeping myself steady against him as his fingers work their magic on me. I don't even have a second to think as his fingers leave me, his hands get a firm grip on my hips as he thrusts into me sharply.

"Ahh," he hisses out between gritted teeth as he begins to ease out of me then slams back into me. Our lips break apart and my hips rock towards him desperate to meet him thrust for thrust, needing to feel that connection this kind of passion.

He hits my sweet spot, right on again and again and I can feel myself quickly building. With each sharp thrust he is easily bringing me to what I can only assume will be an explosive finale. "Yes…oh, yeah" comes out between short spurts of breath as he pounds into me harder, quicker angling his thrust at that spot.

The feelings of his nails digging into the flesh at my hips goes almost entirely unnoticed as I focus on grinding my hips into his never missing a beat. Rufus groans out his lips brushing against my shoulder as he drives into me relentlessly, taking on a slightly rougher pace. However, I find maybe this is his way of releasing some of his pent up anguish for everything that's happened between us and all the hurt I've inflicted on him. Taking it out the hurt I caused on, me, it seems fitting.

When I reach out to cup his face his hands clasp onto mine and he brings them around my back holding them in place there with a steeling grip. Being restricted in this way I find is erotic but highly frustrating, my legs encircle his waist my hips grinding against his urging him to carry on with new yet rough assault. "Ugh…Rufus," my hips rotate around connecting with his on multiple accounts as he pulls out of me. I cry out in disapproval when he leaves me entirely, I fight back against his restricting grip my body curving into his. My feet press down on his ass encouraging him to reenter me before I go completely insane, but he chooses this opportunity to rotate his hips around. As he does this the tip of his erection glides over my clit teasing me, I gasp edging off the counter needing him to fill her.

Just when I think I can't take it anymore of these teasing he slowly enters me, filling me, inch my inch stretching me completing me. He using his hand that doesn't have a hold on mine to lift my chin our eyes meeting. _Those_ eyes, and _those _lips could be my undoing Rufus thrusts the last few inches into me causing me to moan loudly. Crossing my ankles around his waist my hips tilt towards him, Rufus creates a tender leisurely pace and hits my sweet spot nearly every time.

Wiggling against him I strain against the hold he has on me, I want to touch him, feel his skin. It is such a crime to me not be able to touch him and it makes me smile widely because that just shows how well Rufus knows me. This is his own personal form of punishment, it is hot I won't deny that but enough is enough. A gasp escapes my lips as Rufus suddenly changes his pace completely catching me off guard. "Shit, yeah.." my upper body arches into his body welcoming this swift rough pace.

Rufus pounds into me roughly slipping into depths of myself I didn't even realize existed. Depths that had been dominate for ages, now awakened by his relentless thrusts hitting her sweet spot continuously. My eyelids flutter and my breathing comes out in short breathy moans as I accept all that he has to dish out for me. The rough pace not hindering my ability to meet him thrust for thrust grinding against him as he drives into me deeply. "Fuck, Lil.." he hisses almost irritably as he stills within me reaching his peak.

My breathing is hard and ragged, as he lets out a semi-pained yelp I hear him utter a curse word before still within me and sending me in a dizzying spin as I reach my own climax. We came together hard and fast on the breakfast nook it was all so intense and not to mention hot, and I can't wait I went so long with feeling this kind of passion. I'm breathless slumping forward nuzzling my head into his neck as he gently releases his grip on my arms. With the new found freedom of my arms I move to loop around his neck. He is encircled by my limbs as I catch my breath our scents intermingle and I revel in the intimacy we're sharing. Rufus he holds me securely in his arms his hand gently rubbing my back, making small soothing circles.

Even when he goes limp inside of me we stay there locked in this tight embracing clinging to each other, content with the fact that we have started the healing process. I'm scared to let go of him cause I feel that I'd wake up to find that it was all just a dream. That Rufus and I were really no longer, that I ultimately made the wrong choice and now I would end up bitter an alone. He gently eases out of me, as I bite back a wince as he sets me back onto of the breakfast counter. Brown eyes follow him as he reaches to the floor and plucks up his faded flannel covering my shoulders with it.

"I love you," he whispers into the air between us as he reaches up and tucks back some of my wavy blonde hair.

Eyebrows shoot together in confusion, did he just…my heart is pounding widely in my chest and I can hardly breath. "What?" I whisper back to him my brown eyes scrutinizing his facial features floored by his most recent confession.

"What, you didn't hear me the first time?" Rufus asks in a semi playful tone as he cocks an eyebrow at me wearing his signature grin as he leaned down and pulled on his boxers.

Shrugging into his flannel I do a few of the buttons and shake my head giggling while resting my hands against his shoulders. "No, no I heard you the first time…I just want to hear you say it again, I forgot how much I love to hear it."

His eyes gaze directly into mine and my thumbs roll over his shoulder bone as he inches his face so that we're nose to nose. "I love you." Our eyes lock and I gasp, my eyes sparkling with unshed tears who knew that those simple three words would ever mean so much to me.

"I love you," I reply brushing my nose against his giggling as he smothers my lips with a long kiss. By no means does this mean that we're completely fixed, but it's the start, we've begun the healing process. In this moment as we eye one another giggling and acting just like a couple who just revealed that they were in love with one another But his whispered confession makes it crystal clear to me that we both want to make us work no matter what happened prior. It's finally our time, we've wiped the slate clean and now its time for us to start again, with no meddling CeCe, no William, no Alison, no Bart, no anyone standing in our way. The only ones standing in the way of us would be…well us. As his green irises gaze into mine I find that from now on I will always give as much of myself to Rufus as possible because I can't imagine my life without him, he is my rock.

* * *

**A/N: **Alright there you have it…this really IS the end of this story, I think. Personally, I don't know how I feel about it, the ending is crap and kind of mushy I apologize. Anyways though the letter was just too cute and nostalgic for me to pass up. I just wish Rufus would've read it and not that nasty bitch. Also a little side note the first like 2 lines are directly from the actual letter we saw, the rest is purely creative. I hope that this Part 2 satisfied all my fellow Rufly fans out there. Basically Monday's episode as well as **Supsi85 **(if you don't know her videos…go check them out. She's epic!) perfect and flawless Rufly **y**outube videos have made me extremely sad and I wanted to get this second part that was swimming around my head written and posted for you guys. So, I came home from our wonderful Thanksgiving dinner, which was actually lunch..but whatever I was in a food coma, and quite drunk thanks to day drinking. Yup, gotta love my family we started drinking at 2 in the afternoon, it seemed like such a good idea. Fackkk who am I kidding it was an effing great idea, 7 glasses of wine and 3 7/7's(which were strong as shit thanks to my uncle) later and I was still drinking at home at 11pm. Vodka lemonades always a solid choice. Had about four one of those. Bahaha and started working on finishing this up. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this piece and if you could help my sanity along…please leave a review! mauhh until next time loves(:

p.s. I FINALLY got a smartphone, and I lovelovelove it! Having said that, well I finally bit the bullet today and broke down and made myself a twitter account. I figured it might be an easy way to communicate with readers and such but I have no clue. Maybe not. Honestly, I'm not totally sure what I'm doing. Haha but if you have twitter and would like to follow me go for it… sparklymichelle

xoxo


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